Unfairly Privileged
Unfairly Privileged
Looking back over my 24 years as a wife and mother, I believe I’ve been unfairly privileged. I have nine children, all born naturally and 8 of them born at home.
I discovered home birth as a newlywed and newly pregnant 18 year old girl. That first home birth, in 2001, empowered me as a woman, transformed me into a mother, and set me on a path to take charge of my health and the course of my life. My first few births taught me how to live in faith without fear. After my fifth baby I began to pursue midwifery in earnest, because it seemed unfair to me that I had such beautiful, empowering experiences, and that it wasn’t the norm. It SHOULD be the norm.
As a midwife, I understand the complications that can occur, the twists and turns that labor (and life) often take, and the value of having a hospital and a doctor with fantastic surgical skills when that is needed. But it should be the exception, not the rule. Even the best of hospitals involve policies and procedures that interfere with optimizing labor for a natural birth. Again, I am so grateful when that is what is needed, but most of the time, if left to themselves, women labor just fine without an IV in their arm or lying in bed for fetal monitoring. Those interventions are interferences with the normal course of labor. They make birth seem like a medical event instead of a beautiful, natural process that unfolds on its own.
I believe that ideally, birth takes place at home with the support team the laboring woman desires (partner, relatives, doula, midwife, photographer, etc). Some women want more and some women want less. Her birth team and support people honor her desires and meet her needs. Her baby comes when her baby is ready. She has options available such as water for labor and/or birth, a shower with a removable shower head, heat packs and ice as desired, access to food and drink, the comfort of her own bed and the familiarity of her own germs in her own home.
My births were nearly all straightforward, uncomplicated affairs that resulted in a healthy mother and baby. That is usually how it goes for most people given the chance. Out of nine labors, only one (my last one) needed to move to the hospital, and that was not emergent (I'll post about it later).
As a little girl I used to complain to my mother that life isn’t fair, but I’m not complaining anymore. Instead, I’m paying the privilege forward. I became a midwife because my community deserves the option of birth at home! It’s not an option if there aren’t enough midwives, and it’s not an informed decision if you don’t know all your options!
Make sure the expecting parents in your life know about ALL their options. They deserve the opportunity to make an informed choice.
